In past decade lot of cases have come to light where a child feels pressurized by his/her parents or relatives. He/she is expected to perform in a way that could bring pride to family, relatives, school etc. In many cases, this often leads to mental stress and sometimes even suicidal behavior. Parents’ expectations from their children could not only hamper growth in formative years but also make children land up doing something they hate! This further leads to feelings of failure and disappointment, which means unhappy and unhealthy lifestyle as a by product.
When I was young, my parents wanted me to pass through all exams and may be get a job that could pay my bills. I was able to achieve this simple goal which now is more complicated than it sounds. With increase in young population around the world, our childen face cut throat competition in almost every walk of life and are expected to have more exposure, more training, more practice always more which is also not enough. Thankfully there are multiple options to learn as well since everything is available with the click of a button. There are so many popular social media platforms like YouTube, Google etc and not to forget Alexa and Google home who will literally answer every question by a simple voice command. Number of hours however are the same so cramming it all in is not the best way to go about doing things.
To be honest , I feel it is quite unfair….
With increase in competition in every field, schools push children to learn more and more. Children do get to enrol in tons of extra-curricular activities but along with that managing studies and achieving their goals might get impossible in many cases and there is a lot of overload as an end result.
All of these put the weight of expectations on children resulting in non-performance, cranky behaviour, and irresponsible attitude and in some cases various stages of depression.
6 Signs that Parents’ expectations from their children are high
It is important for parents to understand their child’s capability and based on that nurture them to achieve best possible results. A perfect way to raise children is to let them enjoy their childhood and allow learning through their own experience. It is like learning on the job.
Below are signs that your child might display which could tell you that you are expecting too much.
Most children fear failure and sharing these fears helps them grow. If you notice that your child has stop sharing fears and failures with you, then it is a sign that your child is either too scared or too angry to communicate. This would lead to frustration and sometime depression. A safe and trustworthy environment for your kids is must. Kids need to feel like their parents are a “safe place” where they can retreat and regroup after a failure, or when dealing with a potentially paralyzing fear.
Losing interest in what they loved
We prefer our kids to diligently learn things with focus. Unintentionally, we start pushing and creating pressure on our children to make sure that they are learning everything properly. If your little girl loves to draw and suddenly stop drawing, it could be as a result of pressure from you to draw better. This pressure puts your child away from what they loved and they end up leaving what loved. This is almost the very first sign that shows Parents’ expectations from their children are high
Looking at only end result instead of the method
A simple example of this is expecting more grades and not concerned with what they learned or how they are studying. With extra pressure to perform, children have become a part of a never ending rat race. There is always something new to achieve. It is important to get to results but more important is to get to it in proper way. Imagine a doctor who is able to cure the symptom of a patient through through whichever dubious means and not focus on proper treatment.
You don’t enjoy their activities and fun
We do tend to irritated with constant naughtiness and a desire to put them first at all times that we often neglect catching them in repeating same mistakes again and again. You lose interest in fun. Learn to just watch and enjoy without constantly assessing what your kid could do better.
Your child shows signs of fatigue or moodiness.
Over-occupied children who are pushed hard by their parents in multiple arenas often have their psychological stress surface as physical symptoms or emotional behavior. If your child is often worn-out or down in mood, it may be because his/her plate is full, or the pressure is too great to cope with.
Your child is definition of perfect
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Your kid feels that your acceptance of them is tied to their performance.
If the only time you praise your child or show her affection is when she wins a trophy, he’ll grow up seeing a direct relationship between the two. Make sure you remind your kid that you’d love them just as much if they never won a thing—just because they’re yours and it is ultimately about being a well adjusted human begin, not winning all the time.
As parents we all experience our own episodes and learn from our children. Feel free to share in the comment section below about your experience that help you understand your kid was in pressure and measures you took.
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