The four A’s of Parenting – Colossalumbrella

4As of Parenting

Everyone aims to be good parents and improve upon our parenting skills. Parenting is a full time job, and sometimes it might seem like MORE than a full time job, but when getting down to it, we’ve to acknowledge that as parents, we’re going to make mistakes. One of the keys to good parenting is to recognize, accept and learn from our mistakes. Four A’s of parenting are here to add value to our parenting techniques.

Most days conversations with our children is mostly about giving orders for doing something or not doing something. It is an important task to teach them what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour but regular check on a few things could make our life easy and parenthood journey enjoyable.

Broadly, there are four A’s that point to traits of good parenting

Availability

Be available for your kid. Yes, these are busy and busier times but you should never be too busy for your children, particularly when they need you. This is probably the most important A’s of Parenting. Trick is to not only be available when they say they need you, because chances are high that they won’t come right out and say it. Offer yourself to them and let them know that you’re available to them. Let them know that they’re important to you, as they should be.

Dedicate a reasonable amount of your time every day to spending with them. Don’t just give them the leftovers when you’re dead tired from a day at work, but give them quality time. That could even be just watching a most favored Television program with them or reading them a book or going for a short walk with them. Spending time doesn’t necessarily mean spending money on them, because among the best things you can give them won’t cost you a penny – your love for them, where you shows it plus they can feel it and realize you are always there as backup.


Don’t underestimate the influence of little things.

Read here how story telling could help you connect with your child.
Appreciation

Another important A of parenting is Appreciation. The strongest drive towards good behaviour in kids is appreciating them for good behaviour. When a child does well at something, express your appreciation for them. When they do something nice for you, show your appreciation for that. Everybody likes to be valued, and kids are specifically very sensitive to this. Appreciation also helps them make that maturing determination of what’s right and what’s wrong, based on how valued they feel when appreciated.

A short note or a sweet token of surprise would do wonders for your children.

Affection

There is no power greater than true affection which makes it an important part of our list of A’s of parenting. The more you value good deeds, the more your child’s behaviour will be in accordance with what you want and expect. Most of us wants to be loved, especially children. They’re continuously searching for ways by which they can be loved by you. You are their primary focus and because of it they would like to please you by their very nature. You’ll need to be aware that love is the basis and foundation of a positive relationship with your children.

Acceptance

We all want to be accepted and children are no different. You should go out of your way to show that you offer unconditional acceptance for them. This provides them with a level of self-worth and can help to keep their self-esteem level high as well. As parents we need to push our children from time to time but we don’t want them to feel that they need to prove themselves to us for acceptance. We should be able to express that we believe in them no matter what and motivate them to achieve their goals in a very positive way.

The four A’s of parenting are important and every parent would have their own ways of incorporating and enforcing them. I always feel that there is no such thing as best parenting since we are different and situations change our thoughts, movements and actions. As parents we aim to grow happy, responsible and healthy children who will grow up and become well-adjusted individuals. 

Do share your thoughts and leave a comment below. Looking forward to hearing from you.

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48 Comments on “The four A’s of Parenting – Colossalumbrella”

  1. Four A parenting is only proper. It would be even more mnemonic if it was 5 A (like highest mark in school is either A or 5 depending on education system). But the content is so right and proper. I think acceptance is the most important among four, most of parents lack of it

  2. I was raised by a single mom and she is yes available and she accepted me for being me, but she wasn’t affectionate and appreciative. She would make me feel that I need to earn those for her to say praise and shower me with love and affection. She is still an amazing mom, but I wish she was more vocal. Because of this, I am not very close to her but I do appreciate everything that she did for me.

  3. As a teacher and a parent, I feel it is very important to give children unconditional acceptance. That is truly the foundation for so many other things, including academic and personal growth.

  4. As someone from Africa, our parents are not the best example of parents who show affection haha. Especially if you’re from a middle class or low-class family. They always believe that not showing too much affection will make us tougher and more prepared to face life. I hope our generation of parents will be different.

  5. It’s so important to cover the basics for children. If you have strong basics, it makes for a strong foundation they can always count on.

  6. As a teacher, I couldn’t agree more. And I see A LOT of lack of availability. It’s quite sad

  7. Agree. We try to do these four things to our children as well. Sometimes, we can easily get distracted with gadgets as well. But we control our kids’ use. So we really try to parent by example.

  8. Acceptance is often forgotten, we all want our kids to be the best version of them, but we ultimately have to accept them warts and all, and some days they might not be perfect.

  9. I always remember my father because of the love, affection, appreciation and time that he had given to me and now this is what I am giving to my children.

  10. I’m not a parent yet but all of these mentioned here are the great ways to take care of their children. All parents should need to read this article. great article!

  11. These are all great points. I try to be as available as possible. With balance I’m a work in progress for sure

  12. I really like this list! All of these strategies are so important to raising healthy happy kids! Acceptance is a work in progress. As your child becomes a teen and really starts to show you who he or she is, you have to be ready to accept that — I mean we are finding out that our son is just not that bothered with the high school social scene. We are hoping that we will get him to prom next year but he’s not that interested…right now….

  13. The title sounds good. All the 4 A’s are indeed important. Kids who get appreciated often in a right way develop faster. Affection is of course much-needed thing to keep their mind healthy.

  14. Most definitely being available and present is something parents should embrace as well as being affectionate, that helps for development and instilling self-confidence.

  15. I have zero idea of parenting. But yes I really like this post as it is elaborated about parenting.

  16. A great summary of some of the key elements of parenting. I wholeheartedly agree, as a Mom of 4, that each of these is vital in creating a loving secure family for children. Availability is something some people find hard in today’s fast moving world, but every second counts 🙂

  17. All of those are supremely important in being a good parent. I think I would at a P to this list which would be presence. It’s not just about being there, but being there for them to engage with in a meaningful way is so very important I think.

  18. This is some really great insight into parenting. You never know when something super simple as an action is going to make the world of difference.

  19. love this topic! every single one of them is such an important guide as a parent. Thanks so much for sharing

  20. This is really good and an interesting read. My parents would deffo agree on availability for sure xx

  21. Yes to these 4 A’s! It’s so important to be available and present, and acceptance is everything. Love this post!

  22. I do agree you need to be available for your children. Even when I am busy I will stop what I am doing within reason and be sure that I am available for their needs.

  23. I love this! And I think that one of the most common challenges of today’s type of parenting is availability! Every parent is busy hustling to even make time for their children yet in this age, availability is more important than all the money given to kids.

  24. I think that Acceptance should also be about accepting that your child is different than others. A lot of parents of kids that I teach like to compare their kids to others.

  25. These are some great advice for parents out there. Affection is important to help the kids feel loved and wanted. I am not a parent yet but I will keep this advice in mind for the future.

  26. Great advice! It’s so hard when you get wrapped up in the business of the day to day to remember to be present for you kids, not just telling them off or demanding they get ready. I’m going to remind myself of the four A’s each day!

  27. Being available is important. I read an article recently from the New York Times about being the potted plant parent for teens. (I have two.) Be present, be there, be part of the scene– and that is a comfort and presence all in itself.

  28. YES and YES to all of these! I was raised in a home that we didn’t really show love, appreciation, support and I made sure that my house wasn’t like that at all. We hug, we make time for one another, you name it.

  29. These are such great points. I think we so often forget to show our appreciation for our kids as our days get busy. But it’s such an important thing and I think it reinforces positive behavior. Great read!

  30. These are definitely 4 things we should do as parents to ensure our children feel loved. They will grow up to be physically, mentally and emotionally sound when they feel accepted and appreciated for who they truly are.

  31. I love everything about this article. I am 11 years into my parenting journey and I still feel like I don’t know what I am doing, I just hope I am not messing them up! For me, Independence is a big ticket item that I keep in mind while raising my kids.

  32. This is such a great list! My son has been having trouble with another student in his kindergarten class recently, and I think because my husband and I are available for them and let them know that we accept them and their concerns, he was able to open up and tell us about it. I contacted his teacher and she moved him away from the student and he is loving school again.

  33. I think I’m covering them all equally, sort of. I work from home so availability could be better but I try my best.

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