Helicoptering or a helicopter parents is usually a term associated with parents hovering overhead and taking over every aspect of their child’s life. In the absence of elders in the house, Helicoptering has become very common among nuclear families and working parents.
Parents are naturally protective towards their children right from childbirth. The first time I held my son, I felt responsible for his growth and success. I felt that it is my job to shield him from this bad world and keep him safe. Little did I know that I have only two hands and his potential for injury and mischief is limitless.
In our endeavor to look out for our child, we sometimes hold them back thus acting like an obstacle in their growth. In our world we tend to create perfect situations for our children to keep them secure and happy but in real world, children fall, fight, get hurt and learn from their mistakes and make their own way.
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Recently I attended my cousin’s wedding and met a couple of families with young kids. After observing children playing around, it was quite evident that helicoptering or helicopter parents is a big issue and parents tend to hover overhead without releasing that it is hampering their child’s growth.
When I was young I used to be out playing almost every evening without my parents being around me. I use to only look for my parents when I was tired and I wanted someone to call me home 😉
How parenting changes to Overparenting
The modern, urban mother is prone to taking it upon herself the onus of providing her child the best of everything, education, leisure, activities ,sports etc. This is a good aim but sometimes mother’s love gets excessive and this turns out to be a mad race to the finish.
There is so much information out there that parents tend to get confused and always want their child to be all-rounder. Over-parenting happens when parents do not let their child by themselves, gives child everything even before it is asked for. Many working parents have been in competitive environments. For them parenting is a job in which they need to excel so you would see tight schedules for everything, follow-ups and time table.
There is no such thing as PERFECT PARENTING, we learn on job. Here are some parenting tips that could come handy. Don’t forget to leave a comment below
Overparenting working against the concept of unstructured play thus limiting your child to grow and become more innovative.
Children become more dependent on parents for making small decisions and always tend to follow their parents without following their dreams or passion.
Effects of Helicoptering or Overparenting
- An overprotective is child is less mature and ability to think for oneself is quite less
- A child who is not allowed to face challenge will not be well developed and would have very less self-esteem especially in the face of adversity
- The fear of parents transmits into children, who begin to perceive danger in any new activity.
- An overprotected child is scared of taking responsibility and tends to run away from the situation
- Pampered child are unable to take criticism which is not good for growth
- Most over-protective children grow up as insensitive since they do not have the capability to care about others. Such kids have issues adjusting with others.
- Most over-protective children tend to grow up with rebellious attitude which could lead to bigger issues.
Few tips to become non-helicoptering
- If you feel that an activity will be great for your child, allow your child to figure it out. Don’t push him and expect him to obey you all the time
- Don’t get carried away by peer pressure, allow your child to grow
- Listen and communicate with your child.
- Don’t judge your child. Remember it has only been few years for him in this world and this is a learning phase. Making mistakes allows him to learn and grow his experience.
- Don’t expect your child to do the things right way. Let him make mistakes.
- Allow them to fall so can learn to get up and walk.
- Allow them to desire for things and make them earn it instead of simply handing over.
If you feel that you are heading towards becoming helicopter parents (helicoptering), this might be the time for you to change your parenting style. Allow your child to be free and limitless. There is so much they could learn if given a chance
24 thoughts on “Helicoptering – Involved Parenting to Overparenting”
This post is for both parents and those who hope to be parents. Overparenting is not the solution. Truth is children at a certain age of maturity will still do whatever it is they want to do regardless of how strict and nosy their parents are. They may not necessarily do it under the roof of their parents but they’ll always find a way out.
Parenting is really a difficult job. I understand how it must be. I am not a parent but can understand the parents job.
I can totally relate to this post as I am a parent to two daughters. As a child I too was out playing with friends until it was time for dinner, my parents never shadowed me. But in this day and age with the way the society is we fear for our children’s safety hence we don’t allow them to play alone. I think we do overprotect our children and should allow them some independence though .
What an interesting read! You’ve got some good points here – it certainly seems like there’s a very fine line between parenting and overparenting.
I always believe there is no right way to raise our kids, I can see that with my own 2 daughters, we learn from our mistakes and also from a great post like yours.
Overparenting certainly can hinder a child’s development, even though parents do have the best intentions. I also agree that peer pressure (from friends who are also parents themselves) and sometimes, societal norms about what is generally expected can be misleading.
Not yet a parent but I can see this happening to many. Well, it seems some can’t really control those as their love for their children is that much but yes I think this can be learned. Hard to gain early but very helpful when applied.
I’ve never heard of a helicoptering or a helicopter parent, but I see that this type of behavior is now very popular among parents. I believe that if someone has a child, he wants to give it all the best and then it is easy to lose distance. I often see it among my friends who already have children.
I am with you that there is definitely a fine line to walk from protectiveness to overprotection. I was sheltered as a kid so I think I may actually be too lenient with some things. We don’t hide many things from him and let him do or watch things that not every parent would. I respect others and their decisions but I know how difficult it was for me when I got older that I had been sheltered as a child and I do not want my boy to have to deal with that like I did. Great post thanks so much for sharing!
There is a fine line between parenting and overparenting. You do need to make sure you protect your children but you still need them to feel free to fail and grow. Without that freedom there are long term issues.
Parenting is one of the toughest jobs I have ever had. There are so many do’s and don’t, so many unsolicited advice from people you don’t even know, etc. etc. Parenting does not come with an instruction book. We just follow our instincts and do what we feel is right for our kids.
I am a very attentive parent, but I don’t think I am overboard about it. I’m the parent who takes their kids to the playground and other kids are running around and pushing my kids and being mean to them, and I don’t see those kid’s parents. It can be frustrating!
This is such a fine line and something that I worry about as a future parent. I think you just have to go with your gut
I can say my parents are over protective, but in reality, I know that they aren’t overprotective. They simply love and care for me and they want to know that I’m safe and happy.
Haha! I assume my parents are the over protective ones but I appreciate it since you’ll miss it too when they’re gone
When I’m out and about in a park for example I keep my 3 close by for safety reasons. I can’t be 3 places at the same time no matter how much I try. When at home they get to go play wherever they like.
I can understand keeping an eye on parks….. Safety is priority 🙂
Yes this is true. I think we are too overprotective sometimes. I have two older kids and now I wish I had allowed them to have more unstructured play time when they were little.
Idea is to make them independent and able to make their own decision 🙂
I grew up with very strict parents and although it was difficult, I guess I still thank them for putting me on the right path. However, when it was my time to be a parent, I did exactly the opposite. I let my kids be kids. I let them get dirty, explore the outdoors and learn through experience. There are some restrictions though and with those imposed restrictions, I imposed compliance. Worked well for me and the kids!
As mentioned, we are all learning on the job and there is nothing called bad parenting… just different types.
I don’t find it wise enough to be a helicopter parent. It’s always nice when you can allow your child to grow. Haven’t we seen children walking out of their homes to find themselves and follow their passion when they had everything at home? Just because of over-parenting!
completely agree 🙂